I havent updated in a bit.Today was quite a day. I got up at 5, went to the AA meeting at 7am started work after at 8::15. I was already a little irked because the day before was friday and i was supposed to get squared up with my pay. They said they didnt have it, theyd pay me tomorrow if i worked. So I worked, got cash from the places. I was supposed to say goodbye to Bailey before she left but I didnt get home in time before her other grandpa took her home. I was sad to see her go. Usually im relieved but this time was different. We humng out, had fun, had good conversations and just kicked it. Shes a good little kid. I love her, and this time I miss her got depressed that she was going home. I decided because I wasnt feeling good Id try my luck at the casino to see if I could hit something, that would make me feel great! Instead... I blew all my money. I dont have money for gas, Im out of gas, I have court monday for a traffic ticket,t hat was supposed to be dismissed, thats a whole other stry but it stresses me out a little. So I have some anxiety going on. My actions were ill thought out and Im not sure what consequences I will have to suffer. My actions have conseauences and that is something I fail to heed every day of my life. This must be what a character defect is. All my life its been like that. I just need to tough through this and everything will work out. I pray to God please remove these defects of character, give me the strength, courage, and wisom to get through my day happy, jpyful, and to help others feel the same way. Like I alwayas said, I love you Jason Roques, you get yourse,f in to some shit sometimes but you will come through. For the love of God, love yourself,love others, take care of yourself. Get in to action. Keep the bow headed forward and both oars in the water.